Waiving the Red Flag

That's it. I'm done. Winter has officially beaten us all. Little W was in Children's Hospital most of last week with pneumonia. Little H is endlessly snotty and I am recovering from strep, tonsilitis and a sinus infection, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Nothing was scarier than how sick W was before his Dr sent us to the emergency room. The kid was a rag doll. I thought I was done with W in hospitals for a few decades.
He's home now and convalescing nicely. Trying to get him all better in time for his birthday party. Fingers crossed!

Nor'Easter? More like Bore'Easter

Here's comes the next overly hyped megastorm. Good thing we're all still sick and ready to stay in the house the whole weekend. 
Now Little H is down for the count with a bug just annoying enough to keep him up and crying all.night.long and clinging to me in tears all day. I love a good cuddle day, but not when it's accompanied by screaming. I thankfully, finally got him down in his crib for a nap and when I came down, W was watching a cartoon (lay off, super mom, it's cold and raining and he played his little heart out all day). I took advantage of the serenity and started to clean up the impossibly huge mess in my kitchen from heaven-knows-where and after a few minutes, I heard snoring in the living room. W had fallen asleep watching tv. I quietly switched the tv off, turned off the light and laid a comfy blanket over him. It was such a quiet, intimate moment between us. I tried to soak it up as much as possible. I wanted to curl up in the chair with him, in the blanket, but that would have roused him and he would have gone back to dinosaurs versus Buzz Lightyear again (fyi: the dinos win every.single.time). So my moment of motherly zen was fleeting. But it was just enough to erase all of the mayhem from a sick H and snot covered hoodie and unholy messy house. Thanks for centering me, little guy. You're the best.

Do you ever have moments like that? Where the rest of the world melts away and it's just you, completely in the mothering zone?

How Do You Celebrate Valentine's Day?

It's almost Valentine's Day. We've never done much to celebrate it. We're of the annoying "I celebrate my love to you every day" ilk. But really, do we? Most nights, we clean up after the kiddos, pop on the DVR and stare at our iPhones for an hour before I slog sleepily off to bed and he works from home for an hour or two. I mean, we fully appreciate each other's presence, but we're both usually spent from our days and ready to veg out. I guess that's not really expressing our undying love on a daily basis, but for now, it'll have to do. These kids poop us out.
So while we won't go out to a fancy restaurant or buy each other expensive gifts or enjoy a Love Toilet, we'll maybe sit on the same side of the couch and snuggle a big more, or fold the laundry together or something super romantic like that.
Oh, and I bought myself flowers yesterday. Romance!

Cooking with kiddos

We're all hacking up lungs today. So early on, I decided I wouldn't be changing out of my pajamas. I put the kiddos in comfy clothes and we hunkered in for a quiet day at home. Ok, so quiet isn't exactly the right word. A rambunctious day at home, more like it. I was expecting a good nap out of H because he's been snotty and snuggly so I started to plan something quiet to do for W and I during H's nap. I knew if I had to listen to Toy Story one more time, my head would explode. So I started flipping through my William's Sonoma Kids Cookbook. I got it for W a few months ago. It's a bit old for him, as he can't read or operate a stove. But one day, I know he'll love the recipes in there. For now, he's just my little sous chef. We chose a recipe based on the ingredients we had in the house, cinnamon swirls.
We rolled the puff pastry and spread the sugar with our hands. Messy cooking is the most fun, says W. Then W jumped up and down as I rolled the pastry up into a log and cut it, and placed the pastries on the cookie sheet.

 This recipe was great for a three year old because it only took 5 minutes to make and ten minutes to bake. By the time I cleaned off the cutting board, they were ready.

We gobbled up way too many of them. I'm kind of ashamed of myself, really.
These snacks are completely void of nutritional benefits, but whatever. The kids had a kale smoothie (sshhhh... they don't know there was kale in there) for lunch, so I'm not sweating it. And really, I think the benefit of cooking with Mom outweighs the butter and sugar he inhaled. I hope he always loves cooking with me. It's such a great way to spend time together and it helps reinforce the importance of every day mathematics and following instructions.
Today, a kid's cookbook. Tomorrow, Mastering the Art of French Cooking!

My brain is a gerbil that can't get her footing on her little wheel

I have so many topics to discuss. We went to the zoo the other day which is a whole thing in my head. I'm thinking about taking the Insanity Challenge which is a WHOLE thing in my head. I just made a delicious latte. Ok, so that one's pretty to the point.
My point is that I just can't seem to get anything out of my head today. It's all rolling around in there like a gerbil flopping upside on it's wheel. So here's what I consider to be one of the funniest things on the internet right now. Toodles ya'll.

Holy Sleet, I'm Bored

It's another snowy/sleety/rainy day in these parts. So I've written today off as a lazy day at home, doing puzzles and watching movies with the boys. They played nicely by themselves for about 45 minutes in the next room, so I was even able to catch an episode of my boyfriend, Tony's show, The Layover. Parenting!

I'll be stepping on blocks and books and dinosaurs all day today. But you know what I won't be doing today? Going onto Pinterest for "rainy day" ideas for toddlers and preschoolers. Because you know what? All that horse sh!t is just a lot of flipping work for mom. I made cloud dough once for W and blargh! I was cleaning slippery flour off my kitchen floor for days. And my house smelled sickeningly of baby oil all day. I wanted to ralph. So, I won't be filling a bag with finger paint and taping it to my door. I won't be making any more god forsaken cloud dough. And I won't be making an indoor mini sandbox with rice. My kids can rot in front of the television, thank you very much. Screw you, Pinterest! I free myself of your vice grip. I will be a god-for-nothing, lazy parent today. Ole!

I will NOT be making any more f@&king cloud dough.

credit

Speaking of lazy parenting, I'm currently reading an excellent book. I haven't read many general parenting style books. I can recite the Essential Guide for Parents of Preemies and You Can Adopt, but that's where my parenting research kind of fizzles out. I perused The Happiest Toddler on the Block for a while, but it seemed so far fetched to me. Like, for robot parents. Not parents who have lazy days. Then I found the book I'm currently reading and I just fell in love. It's called The Idle Parent, by Tom Hodgkinson and I think it might have been written just for me. It's magic in type form. Teaching kids to 'just be' and sitting back to let the magic happen is my kind of parenting style. Please, check it out if you're like me and just want to let you kids be free range from time to time so you can sit back and watch No Reservations while snarfing a Diet Coke float for lunch. 

Some of the key points in his idle parent manifesto are:

• We pledge to leave our children alone
• We reject the idea that parenting is hard work
• We drink alcohol without guilt
• We lie in the bed for as long as possible
• We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals
• We reject the inner Puritan
• We try not to interfere
• We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small 
• There are many paths    

Sounds pretty ok, doesn't it? Coming from a childhood where I suspect my mother was a so-called "helicopter parent," it only make sense for the pendulum to swing back the other way. Not sure if this is your bag or not? You know this book might be for you if any of the following are true:

• You're happy letting your kids run free at the playground while you play Words with Friends on the bench
• You let your kids climb up the slide the wrong way, even while other moms are screaming at their kids for the same apparent atrocity
• You wait for the mother at the birthday party to finish her story about how cake is a big deal because at home, they mostly eat BULGAR, then tell her happily that sometimes you let your son walk to the bakery to eat a cupcake for lunch.
• You calmly wait for a howl after a large crash before you get up to see what or who is broken. 
• Your baby proofing begins and ends at plugs in electric sockets and an upstairs gate.
• You don't shelter your kid from good music, just because there's cursing in it

Check it out. It's a good thing. Also a good thing? The aforementioned Diet Coke float I just made to wash down my lunch. Yessiree, today's shaping up to be an ok day.

Ain't No Party Like a Liz Lemon Party Because a Liz Lemon Party is Mandatory

Next week marks the end of one of my favorite shows of all time, 30 Rock. I want to have coffee with Liz Lemon. She's on a very short list of amazing sitcom women. And I will just miss her so very, very much. Not much else to say about it, really. So here's a bunch of YouTube clips from a really classy show. Weep not for the memories.

At least I still have Leslie Knope. Now walk away from YouTube, Linds...

...In Which I Find Some Time for Me

Confession, ya'll: I pluck my eyebrows in the car because it's the only place I have to do so. And I only do it about once ever six weeks. So... yeah. When I paint my nails, I text pictures of the event to my friends. Just today, I took ten minutes to master the art of sock bunnery and was so proud, I texted it to the friends I knew would feign interest. Taking time to do things for myself is very, very low on my list of priorities (and I don't consider sitting on the stool in the kitchen, pinteresting on my iPhone while hiding from the kids "me time"). But that's something I'd like to change this year. The kids aren't in a constant state of AAAAACK anymore and I think I've got this mom-of-two thing down a bit more and I'm ready for a little Summer of George.

Damn tight sock bun, son. But worthy of mass text? Really? Also, judge not the walls. It was that way when we moved in (ahemfouryearsago).

I'm not gonna like, liposuction my double chin and lay around eating bon bons or anything looney like that.  I just want to do more things for me. Like remember to pluck my eyebrows more than once every six weeks. Or start saving for a new bathroom so I don't have to pluck in the car anymore <insert wishful dream bubble>.
This weekend, I'm supposed to go out with a friend to celebrate her divorce which by definition, means a hangover will be involved. So that's cool. Last weekend we actually got a sitter and went out with friends. Or I'll paint my nails more - and when they start to chip, I'll take the time to actually remove the paint instead of looking like a 14 year old girl for a month. Or I'll make shaving my legs in the shower such a commonplace affair, that I can stop announcing it, proudly.

Sometimes I feel like the only mom who can't hold her shit together. But I can't be, right? Surely there are other women out there who feel the need to document when they take the time to learn how to jam a sock in their ponytail, right? Right?

sniffle sniffle snort

We've been sick since Christmas Eve. W is finally getting over it, but I woke up with a fresh cold this morning, so I know it's just a matter of time before he falls. H has an immune system of steel so he misses all the germs. He's a snotty mess right now, though. He's getting four molars and two bottom teeth. So he's even more delightful than the sick one. I'm fairly certain that 93% of my home is covered in a thin, dried sheen of mucous.
I'm all about natural treatments of cold discomfort. I have a neti pot, and use humidifiers at night and drink ass tons of tea. But I'm all about otc medications for me and the little ones. I try to only give them their Tylenol or Advil before bed, but I'm super quick to pop a pill to be able to face the day. My current favorite is Mucinex because it doesn't make me loopy. I use to love to cuddle up to a box of purple Sudafed, but it makes me trip the light fantastic and that's no good with the little ones that actually want to do something other than stare at the wall, so that's been pushed to the back of the medicine closet, for now. 

What do you do for your kids when they have a cold? What helps them to sleep through the night when they're sick or teething?