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Monday, December 12, 2011

All Attempts are Futile

Why am I even bothering right now? I have no idea what I logged on to write about and I'm typing with one hand while the other hand plays "dump truck," whatever that may be today. All the while, two dogs are clamoring to go outside/inside/outside/inside and two cats continually march across the keyboard. And I'm pretty sure someone (of the very small variety) is about to poop his pants. My coffee is ice cold and W and I are still both in our pajamas. I could be frustrated by this scene. But instead, I'm going to embrace it. Or at least I'll try to embrace it. The Christmas tree is lit, my coffee, albeit freezing, smells delish and W is laughing his ass off because the dirty, old dump truck keeps dropping a role of duct tape. Who cares if the rug isn't visible due to puzzle pieces and the cat has a piece of duct tape stuck to her tail? I'm embracing the chaos.

Today will be a day of productivity (if it kills me...). I will mail our Christmas cards. I will shamefully drop our INSANELY past due library books in the book drop bin. I will do two loads of laundry and cut W's hair. He looks like Justin Bieber and Dorothy Hamel had a love child and lost all of their scissors. It's getting out of control.

So who knows what I came on here intending to wax poetically about. It went the way of my hot coffee. I'm going to load of on dry shampoo, toss on some jeans and get knee deep in chores so we have plenty of time to play trucks.

Viva la toddlers!


Wednesday, December 7, 2011


I recently had the WORSTTHINGEVER happen and I feel I need to share. I can't be the only person this WORSTTHINGEVER has happened to. I'm hoping someone out there has the courage to speak out and let me know I'm not alone in my suffering.

I'll cut right to the nuts and bolts of it. I was doing a load of diapers in the wash*. A task I've done every day** for a long frickin' time without issue. I removed the soaker inserts from the diaper. I have this routine down to a very hygenic science. I remove the soakers (there's two of them and they're attached by snaps) by their tag. I hold the diaper in one hand and the soakers in the other. I use the diaper to unsnap the soakers from each other and toss all pieces in the washer. It's fast and my hands stay clean. Everyone's happy. Well, it's a one man job. So I'm happy. Whatevs.
So the other day I was going about my business. I was down to the last diaper. Seeing as Little W is doing a super job on the potty... I'm only washing diapers every 3 days, roughly. So this last diapers was old and wet and cold and stinky. I pulled the inserts out and pulled them apart. But I must have been doing it with extra gusto because the large, wet, cold soaker flew back and smacked me square in the face.
I can't even talk about it without dry heaving. So stinking gross. I washed my face like a maniac for a very long time. I may or may not have included a Clorox wipe in the cleansing process...
I'm just (endlessly) glad there was no poop on the diaper. If there were, I may not be here today to tell the story.

*We use Rumparooz and they're just the cutest things ever.
You can read a review of them here at mummies reviews
**As much as I love W's adorable diapers, I'm SO over diapers in general. We're about 40% potty trained and anxiously awaiting the last 60%.


In an attempt to grow as a person and learn something about myself et cetera, I grew a big ol' set of cajones and tried out for my community theater's production of The Music Man. I haven't sung (sang? sung? hmmm...) in front of people (aside from Little W, of course) for over 10 years. So my audition was crazy bad. But it was fun and I am quite proud of myself for giving it the old college try. I'm very much looking forward to basking in the ambient glow of local, low budget theater lights once again. Not to mention, it'll be a nice distraction from waiting for The Call.
76 trombones led the big parade...

Want vs Need

"Oh, I need this" is something I say, on average, four times a day. I'm not proud of it, but when I see something awesome, my brain says "gimme, gimme, gimme!" I think I'm wired that way or something. I need to start wheedling down the wants and taking a harder look at what is truly a need. I want to set a good example for my children. I don't want them to think they need every new, stupid toy out there.
I'll be leaving my job in February and with it, losing our second income. Regular, everyday stay-at-home-moms don't get to buy everything their heart desires. So I seriously have to get a grip on reality.

That being said... I totally need all of this Falcon Enamelware .

 It's so pretty and rustic and British. Yup, this is definitely a need. Hey... back off. I'm a kitchen ware junkie. You can't expect me to just go cold turkey.Maybe I'll throw all of my current bake ware and mugs down the basement stairs, blame it on Little W and the pets and insist that this is the only suitable replacement. What say you? Good plan?

What do you lust for that is irrational or wasteful?


Friday, December 2, 2011

Wishful thinking

Well, it's that time of year again. The pumpkins have hit the composter and the twinkling lights of Christmas are going up. I love (LOVE) the holiday season. I love shopping for presents (maybe because I tend to subscribe to the one-for-you-one-for-me style of shopping). I love the smells of Christmas and the overindulgance of sweets and even the hustle and bustle. My husband brought the decorations down from the attic a few days ago, kicked on the SiriusXM Holly channel and a-decorating I went.

Wait... back up. I should interject here that I've been in a very zen place about The Wait. Honestly, I have. No, seriously. Stop rolling your eyes. For a while there, I was so wraped up in The Wait that I was losing sight of the little dude that was standing right in front of me. I took a minute to step back and look at the big picture and I realized I wasn't enjoying the moment to it's fullest. Time with W was being tarnished with unecessary worry. It's not like I was ignoring him or anything. He's the center of my universe every second of the day. But I wasn't enjoying JUST having him. These times of just him and I being together are fleeting. Soon he'll be entering pre-school and soon (hopefully) there will be another little one needing my attention. So, while I'm still anxiously awaiting The Call, I've also remembered to fully relish this time with W.

Ok, so where was I? Right... The boxes were brought down and the christmas jams were kickin'. The tree went up, the decorations were lovingly hung, the trinkets were placed, garlands were strung. And at the bottom of the box were ourstockings. I pulled out mine, my husband's and W's. Then, there at the bottom of the box, all by it's lonesome was stocking #4. I forgot I had purchased it last year when we were just in the home study portion of the process. I had an irrational mother fear last January that we'd get #2 rather quickly and s/he wouldn't have a stocking and I'd have to run out and get one and it wouldn't match the rest of ours and #2 would spend years in therapy because their stocking wasn't the same and therefore their whole life was some sort of sham and it would be all my fault. Right, like I said, it was irrational. So I got a 4th stocking, tucked it in the Christmas box and forgot about it.

And there it sat in front of me, by itself in the box. I momentarily forgot my zen-like approach to The Wait and got a little teary. Then I composed myself and considered my (admittedly crazy) options. I could hang it and put some sort of little baby present to myself in it as a reminder that #2 will happen eventually (maybe a cute little Sophie?). Or I could burn it because it MUST be bad luck to buy something for a baby that doesn't exist (to us) yet. I decided to go a more rational route and just leave it in the box and hope that I'll be able to hang it with care next Christmas.

But on second thought.. when have I ever denied myself the chance to buy a wee little present? Hanging it and putting one or two baby gifts in there may not be so nutso afterall.

I think a little dilusional part of me thought we'd have a baby by this Christmas. I wish I could go back to 2010 Lindsay and tell her to go at this whole thing with a more rational head. Oh well. I'm rational now. Most of the time.

Did any of you buy things for future baby way far in advance like me? When did you start buying yourself baby things? We're lucky that we have skads of toys and gear from Little W, but part of the joy of expecting a baby is getting him/her little toys and cute onesies. So please share with me when you started going nuts in the baby aisle. I'd love to hear.

On a different note, Little W has his first I-made-my-own-friend friend's birthday party this weekend. Should be a hoot!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.