I don't have much to say these days. I'm getting tired of waiting. Plain and simple. I know I should empower myself and redo our profile and get the room ready for baby. But I just don't feel like it. I think a steady case of the gloomies has crept in and is keeping me from being productive. So because I'm in a woah-is-me kinda mood, here's a list of things hanging over my head in my black cloud:
Every time I think about starting our profile book over, I get so overwhelmed. I need to suck it up and take control. But blah.
Not sure if this is a local or national thing, but as you probably know, the homestudy now has to be done every 12 months. Grand. This partially annoys me (because we're on such a tight budget) but it partially excites me, too. At least I'll have something to do.
We're having our kitchen slightly redone in a few weeks. It's just bare bones aesthetic stuff that's necessary for the well being of our house (ok, and throwing a dishwasher in for good measure. Yes, we don't have a dishwasher. Gasp.). But we're still going to have to put the adoption on hold while it's being done. It should only take 2 weeks at most. But that's still painful for me. What if we miss our birth mother in that period of time? Guh. At least our kitchen will be (barely) in the 20th century when it's done. And at least we'll have a proper wall instead of a crumbling plaster mess. Maybe some before and after pictures will follow.
Little W has a monster cold. We've been waiting for him to come down with it for a long time. He's the last kid in our small circle to get it. And it's a doozy. He topped off last night with a 104.5 fever. But he's such a strong little tropper. Still smiling and polite and generally happy with life and sleeping through the night (and most of the day). I'm just waiting to come down with it, too. So being stuck in the house the past three days is not helping my mood.
So blah blah blah... I want my baby. That's really all it comes down to. I've been patient for a while now. And I'm having a weak moment. I just want to yell into oblivion that we've been waiting what I deem to be long enough and I'm tired of it and I want my little bundle of sweetness. I want my phone call.
I know I sound whiny and obnoxious. But whatevs. I'm allowed weak moments.